Tips To Engage In The Growth Of Forgiveness

Written By Gail McDonald

Pointers you can take action on / Ways to process forgiveness / It’s the small things that can make a difference / Our wounds can be our Wisdom

  • Write a letter (whether the person is dead or alive) then rip it up or burn it. Although you could deliver it that is not a prerequisite.

  • You could tell someone you have forgiven them and be okay with where the pieces fall.

  • Write something out, let it go.

  • Literally plant some seeds, care for them, grow something else. (Refocus yourself and bring up safe tender-heartedness)

  • Keep a Gratitude Journal.

  • Volunteer, look around and who needs something you could offer, doesn’t have to be at all related to the area of forgiveness you’re working on.

  • Take some quiet time, go for a walk.

“When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, 

You see all these different trees. And some of them are bent…

You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way.

And you don’t get all emotional about it.

You just allow it.

The minute you get near humans, you lose all that.

And you are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this’

That judgement mind comes in.

And so, I practice turning people into trees.” Ram Das

  • Ask which is most important to you: unconditional love, perception, or choice?

  • Or is it the one you are currently struggling with right now – what is it?

  • Ask How do I move forward?

  • Ask is it possible to love someone unconditionally and yet not forgive them?


Here are some books we referenced during the show (Episode 11 - Forgiving, For You?)

  • Beyond Forgiveness by Phil Cousineau: interview with Azim Noordin Khamisa – creator of The Tariq Khamisa Foundation

  • The Five Invitations by Frank Ostaseski – story about forgiveness between a sister and her brother before she died

Provocative questions listeners may wish to respond to on changezonetalk@gmail.com

Gail McDonald